


Right Here

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Star Wars Rewrites Backstory — Ben’s childhood [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Gen, Hurt Ben Solo, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, though Ben doesn’t realize he’s in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 21:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13221969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Five times that Poe was there for Ben.





	Right Here

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Wild Card — Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Special thanks to MidgardianNerd for helping out with this.

1\. He can’t help but hate the Academy. If not for Poe (and some friends he’s made there who seem to be about as out of place as he is), he would have left long ago. There’s something in it that has a certain appeal — Ben Solo, runaway smuggler. But there’s something about Poe Dameron where he grounds Ben, calms him. It’s hard not to, being around someone who just seems to understand you. Poe’s eighteen and in the Republic Navy now, but when he does drop by, it’s strangely grounding.

2\. It’s after one of those commcalls where he and his mother get into a fight and she compares him to Poe that Ben almost hates him. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. And yet even thinking about it, he can’t help but feel jealous of Poe, just because he’s basically the son that his mother would kill to have. The perfect son. The perfect man, where Ben is still fifteen, just a child, and probably one of the worst things a son could be —imperfect.

When Poe drops by, Ben snaps at him; he can’t help it. “Leave me alone.”

“Ben — ’’

“Why don’t you hang out with my mother? She probably wishes she gave birth to you instead of me.”

Poe’s eyes widen, and his face goes through various emotions — angry, hurt, confused — before he says, “What happened, Ben?”

“I’m sorry.” Ben sighs. It hurts, what his mother said, but it also hurts seeing Poe unhappy. He shouldn’t be that way. He just shouldn’t.

He tells Poe about it, and Poe looks at him in astonishment. “She said that?”

“Yeah.”

“Ben...she’s wrong. You’re perfect just as you are.” A smile. “Yelling at me and all.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. Really.”

And it’s one of those instances where the galaxy shifts back into how it should be. Poe forgives him. And everything...

Everything is okay again.

3\. Sometimes Ben hates his uncle.

No, he doesn’t. Not really. He can’t really hate his uncle, but sometimes he can’t help but feel that way. This is no exception. He was going to see Poe after Poe came for a visit, but Uncle Luke barred him off by saying Ben needs to concentrate on his Jedi training. He shouldn’t get angry; he’s two years away from being eighteen, he should be able to control himself. More importantly, he’s a Jedi. He’s better than this, all of this.

He’s already picking up what’s left of the training dummies, wondering what’s wrong with him that he destroyed them in such a way. No one else has this problem. Well, then again, no one else is Ben Solo, so there is that...

“You okay?” Poe says, softly, and Ben turns around, startles.

“What are you doing here — you’ll be caught — ’’

“You’re worth it. And your dad taught me how to sneak in.” The nineteen year old brushes his hair out of his eyes and grins. “We won’t get caught.”

Ben grins, almost despite himself.

“You okay?” Poe says.

“I...”

And in a hushed voice, Ben rants — it’s all about how Uncle Luke seems to think he’s dangerous, volatile, how the other Masters think he’s spoiled, never mind that he’s been treated the same as everyone else — sometimes worse than everyone else. He rants until he’s exhausted, and Poe says, “You’re not spoiled. Not even a bit. Believe me.”

And there’s something about the way Poe says it where Ben can believe it.

4\. He shouldn’t be upset about his mother not showing up to his Knighting ceremony. He shouldn’t. And yet he can’t help but be restless — she should be here by now. It doesn’t make sense. It’s at the end of the ceremony when she still hasn’t shown up that he vents to Poe. He’s nineteen now, but he somehow feels younger.

“It’s like I don’t matter.”

“Ben — ’’

“I mean nothing. I’m not important. I — ’’

Poe kisses his cheek. He has to stand on tiptoe to do it (which makes Ben smile despite himself) but he kisses Ben’s cheek, and wipes away the first hints of tears. “You’re so important to me. So precious. Don’t you ever call yourself not important.”

Ben promises himself in that moment, as he has many other times, to never let Poe go.

5\. Just because he’s out of Snoke’s clutches doesn’t mean that his nightmares are over per se. It feels sometimes like they’ll never be over. He still hears Snoke’s voice, he still sees his eyes, which seem like blue chips of ice set in a sunken face. More than that, sometimes he wonders if Snoke’s right, if the Republic is corrupt. If the Jedi are corrupt as well. Is Snoke right?

What cuts is what Snoke said. _You always were the one who never belonged, weren’t you, Ben? The one who stood out. And Snoke’s right. Ben is different. Not friendless, but definitely different..._

It’s after one particularly awful nightmare that Ben jolts awake, sweating, shaking, trying not to scream. It’s the masked man again. Poe’s there to hold him, to comfort him, to pet his hair and reassure Ben that no matter what, he is away from Snoke, and Snoke will never, ever hurt him again. (Ben wishes he could be so confident)

“It’s okay,” Poe says, softly. “You’re safe. It was just a bad dream.”

“Yeah.” Ben looks at him. He’s used to thinking Poe’s the fragile one, the sweet one who he’s scared of breaking. Now, despite Poe being smaller than him, he’s so strong. Not just physically, but emotionally. “Just a bad dream.” He nuzzles into Poe’s chest, sighs in relief and a sort of contentment as Poe plays with his hair.

Poe strokes his hair over and over again, hums to him even as he falls asleep in Poe’s arms.


End file.
